Sitting in the psych ward waiting room at the local hospital...waiting to be "assessed" by the "counsellor" as psychiatrists are now called...listening to the new rick ross album mastermind with my new dollar store heaphones...the ones with diamonds in them...
RICK ROSS - MASTERMIND ALBUM REVIEW*
"I like this album," i tell the psychiatrist, i mean, counsellor...weird, but the guy across from me kind of looks like rick ross...i'm sitting at a wooden table...there's nothing carved into it and i feel like asking to borrow a knife and carve in "i love rick ross" i find that funny and giggle...
"what's funny?"
"this rick ross album, i'd give it a 4 out of 5 on the telepathic radar...best thing he's ever done, i like every song...i can play it front to back...not every song is top shelf mind you...that jeezy song is bananas though...that outro song with wayne to that old souls of mischief 93 beat is ill...not mentally but...makes me feel sunny, happy..."
"is that why you're here...because you're not happy?"
"am i not happy with the new rick ross album?...i don't understand, the question cause i said i was..."
"did you just want to talk about rick ross then...is that all you are capable of communicating...is rick ross a metaphor for something else?"
"i don't know, we could talk about salinger or tenenbaums stuff too..."
"are you depressed william?"
"yeah, no...maybe, so...depends on the day...sometimes i feel brown and sometimes i feel grey..."
"would you like some shells?"
"what!? from the shore...that's weird what you said, but i like it...i like the beach...miami beach...i heard that rick ross, back when he was a correctional officer, back when he was "officer ricky," he used to go to a bunch of those "circuit parties"....you know where all the gay dudes went and partied...
...witnesses said he did alot of pink candy flavoured crystal meth...strawberry speed they called it...that was his shit...that's what maggie rattlesnake told me, who heard it from her friend cindi c or cindi cardinal, who heard it from her loser of a boyfriend "a man named larry"...anyway...fuck all that...ross would party, dance, do meth, take his shirt off...usual circuit shit...turns out though, that's where his beef with the lords of vice or the vice lords...you know the ones that tried to kill him last year?...shot up his car and shit...supposedly the vice lords were some male prostitutes that saved up enough to flip their pimps and start running their own prostitution rings, s&m line of clothing, bath house type shit...meth dealing, drug dealing type stuff...ricky got into beef with them back in the day and they never really forgot about it...weird shit but reliable sources on my end..."
"would you like to voluntarily check yourself into the hospital today?"
"not really no...i get weird one flew over the nest cuckoo type vibes with psych wards you know...old girlfriend...jack nicholson type stuff you know..."
"easy rider..."
"yeah, you know!...good soundtrack too...but thanks for the talk...if you got some pills i'll pop those on the way out...buzz me out...hahaha...but check out that rick ross shit too...best he's ever done...officer ricky...the mastermind...rick the ruler...william brown...william grey...out."
* based on a true story...or a story that's true...basically...kind of...sort of...in fractions...at any rate...anyway...enjoy your day...