i mean, i got a problemo with rappers releasing 3 or 4 different fucking versions of their albums...reminds me when i was buying comics back in the 90s and there would be like 6 different covers for a comic...collect em all and they'll be worth future collectible money...i wish my future me came down and told me i was going to move 150 times in my life and that lugging around comic boxes was not a fucking option and i would've stopped myself from buying those 6 fucking alternate covers...so oxymoron has a regular version, a deluxe version, a i'll suck your dick if you buy this album version, an itunes version, a target version...each has a couple of different tracks...7 in total to add to the 12 on the regular...i could maybe understand if there was no internet and you couldn't easily track down these songs for free...it's just not necessary...too gimmicky...and what are these extra songs anyway...b sides?...blah sides......TDE is acting all top dawg these days...and schoolboy q is talking like he's one of the best and can make classic albums...asap ferg was yapping like that too and i hated his fucking album...so is oxymoron a classic?...mac miller says it is...now donut get me wrong i think he's got one of the more original flows in the game...very unique...i also like how he involves his 4 year old daughter in stuff...makes him more human...i hope he has a successful rap career so that him and his daughter can live a peaceful life...for real...and it's his daughter that kicks off the album...
Hello...my daddy is a gangsta...
#1 Gangsta:...i need my rap albums to start strong...i like this cut...this is some weight lifting music...flexing in the mirror music...raw egg smoothie music...jose canseco injecting steroids into your ass cheek music...7/10
#2 Los Awesome w/jay rock:...this song is not...fuck...i fucking hate this song...fuck you pharell...the beat is beyond the valley of the dolls...jay rock shouldn't be anywhere near this beat...0/10
#3 Collard Greens w/kendrick who?:...I liked this song when it came out 31/2 years ago...it didn't come out that long ago...i know i wasn't talking literally...who are you talking to?...trolls...trolls?...6.5/10
#4 What they want:...gets a little grimsey with this beat...asap rocky would've been nice on this...get 2 chainz instead...after a few plays it sounds like stale bread...take my daughter and feed it to the ducks...4.5/10
#5 Hoover Street:...a hard beat to rap too...awkward...not sure what i'm supposed to do with this...heat up some pizza, get the chips and hummus out, gulp down some water with my multi vitamin...thankfully the beat switches up...a little more melodic...get some bad uncle stories...i wonder who's uncle was worse...ill bill's, uncle howie or schoolboy's?...0/10 for the first beat and 5.5/10 for the second beat.
#6 Studio:...I'm just sitting in the studio trying to get to you babe...if i was in the studio and this song came on i'd be fucking out of there!!!...what the fuck is this Q?...stay in your lane man...you cannot be laying down love verses like you've got drake skills...0/10
#8 The Purge:...If you want to make william brown's dick flacid, start a song off with tyler the creator on it...another awkward beat...thanks tyler...got one of my alltime favourites rapping to your shit beat, kurupt, and he's doing his herky jerky slow flow that makes me want to go to the washroom...for real...i'll be right back...2/10
#9 Blind Threats w/ raekwon:...mediocre...knitting a scarf to this song right now...buying a tie for my dad right now...knitting and buying tie music...2/10
#10 Hell of a Night:...oh fuck...a club jam...euro festival 1998 jam...luckily the beat settles down and Q manages allright...i could see asap rocky or danny brown murder this track...well why don't you listen to their albums then...yeah man, i probably will after this letdown of an album.
#11 Break the Bank:...just when i thought all is lost...my fucking jam right here...alchemist laces this and Q nails it finally...i just wanna smoke weed and sip lean by the court...for real...good weed i hit that, crack rock i sold that, oxy i hit that...8.5/10
#12 Man of the Year:...another straight banger...murder she wrote cliff hanger...makes me bounce...makes me rap along as i stroll along the railroad tracks...i can listen to this on repeat...whoever these nez and rio cats are on the beat, they're onto some real good catnip with this...
Then we got 7 bonus cuts spread over a few different versions like i said...do if review them as part of the album...i don't know...too drunk to care at this point...throw my cat some cat balls...wait is that suga free on a track?...i thought he was dead like 15 years ago but he keeps popping up on people's albums, so i'm assuming he's alive...i could look it up but i'm too drunk to care at this point...wait is that asap rocky on a track?...fuck why isn't that bad boy on the main album!?...fuck it who cares anyways...cause looking at my gucci, it's about that time to drink some chinese relaxing tea...too hippy?...pop some depression pills and...float...go to sleep in my day clothes, wake up in those same clothes...don't wash my hair or change my underwear...real life raps...i give schoolboy q's oxymoron 2 dirty fucking hippies out of 5 on the telepathic radar...at least mac miller likes it...
