I GOT MOTHERFUCKIN STITCHES IN MY MOTHERFUCKIN NUTS MUTHAFUCKERS.

aka RETURN OF THE KING. Did you all miss me as much as I missed you? In what feels like two months since I've seen you all I've been working like a dog. Not that I ever understood that statement. The only dogs that do any real work are sled dogs which leaves about 99% of the dog population to sniff asses and piss on trees. I've done both and neither is that hard. I mean even seeing eye dogs just walk around and try to not get hit by cars which is pretty low down on the hard work scale if you ask me. Most dogs do that shit for free. 

Any way instead of hitting you all up with a life sized picture of the stitches in my fucking nuts I've decided to give you a quick preview of what I have planned for the upcoming weeks. So we'll continue our journey into the Wu-Tang chambers which has been fun. I'll also my best of 2013 list up tomorrow provided my swollen balls are comfortable sitting on this ottoman as I still haven't purchased a desk chair. 

The telepathic tyrant Willie Bee and I will finally publish our highly anticipated account of the lives of two people in what would end up being the greatest year in the history of Hip-Hop. Stay tuned for the "'88 Kids".

Speaking of Willie B. I'm pretty sure he called me last night while I was doped up on beer and percocets and hit me with a couple of Jedi mind tricks which got me to agree that the Swollen Members were the greatest rap group of all time. But not to worry me and my swollen nuts didn't sign any documents ratifying that position. 

Oh yeah I'll also be sure to touch on my two months as a mail man working 15 hour days in -30 degree weather so my fellow citizens could receive fuckin shitty Christmas sweaters and self help books from Amazon. Perhaps I'll even tell you ingrates why I have STITCHES IN MY MOTHERFUCKIN NUTS. Maybe.