old dirty bastard's son...
YOUNG DIRTY BASTARD
vs.
reverend run's son...
DIGGY SIMMONS
big pun's son...
BABY PUN
vs.
doug e fresh's sons...
TRIPS N SLIM
snoop dogg's son...
SPANKY DANKY
vs.
ice cube's son...
OMG
peter gunz son...
CORY GUNZ
vs.
ghostface killah's son...
SUN GOD
E-40's son...
DROOP E
vs.
eazy e's son...
LIL EAZY E
...and last but not least...
master p's son...
ROMEO MILLER
vs.
will smith's son...
JADEN SMITH
Any thoughts drama before we begin?
DRAMA: man i'd pass on anything that would make me have to listen to anyone on this list rhyme. Most of it is pretty much garbage.
okay...tough crowd tonight, tough crowd...CHECK IN TOMORROW FOR ROUND 1!!!
NOT GONNA LIE...shits taking its toll on a telepath doing this rappers rapping offspring shit...my heart was in the right place when i started and now it's becoming a chunk of coal...took a listen to young dirty bastard and diggy simmons today...i mean, i just don't even know what's going on with these kids man...first bunch of songs i heard from young dirty and he sounds exactly like his fucking dad...like is he fucking serious...why would he do that?...why would he want to sound just like him?...kids got a fucking problem...needs a therapist...fuck i don't even feel like structuring this round i feel so depressed about these kids...but i'm gonna man up a bit here...okay ydb's papa is old dirty bastard...who is the most unique character hip hop has ever produced...the most original flow rap has ever heard...a member of the wu tang clan...a classic album, with a classic album cover...google it, i'm lazy...the father of around 2 dozen offspring...died suddenly in the studio booth...when they cut his stomach open it was like a tiger sharks...drugs, booze, sushi, bike tire, plastic spoon, half eaten car parts...i wish i could just be with odb but i gotta move on...that's right shine the spotlight...allright young dirty...let's see how dirty you are...
A few thoughts on the subject from
drama en sabah and then we can begin...
"Fuck, it would be easier to pour butane on my soul and set it on fire. Why do I let you drag me into these things? This is misery at it's finest. "
YESSSSSSSS...the serpent in the garden of eden is back and he's got round 1 for you telepathic fiends...
OMG VS. SPANKY DANKY
too bad it wasn't ice cube vs snoop dogg you're saying to yourself...now that's a heavyweight matchup!...drama and i were compiling our top 50 mcs of all time and we got around to talking about kendrick lamar's control verse and why ice cube is never mentioned in terms of one of the best of all time?...and snoop, well fuck he changed the entire game and spawned a whole fucking generation of weed rappers that are still riding on that coat tail to this day...we got their pups though to carry on the family tradition...what they got...bring that shit, bring it!...
too bad it wasn't ice cube vs snoop dogg you're saying to yourself...now that's a heavyweight matchup!...drama and i were compiling our top 50 mcs of all time and we got around to talking about kendrick lamar's control verse and why ice cube is never mentioned in terms of one of the best of all time?...and snoop, well fuck he changed the entire game and spawned a whole fucking generation of weed rappers that are still riding on that coat tail to this day...we got their pups though to carry on the family tradition...what they got...bring that shit, bring it!...
IN THIS CORNER...we got a rapper looking very much like his papa ice cube...
OMG or OH MY GOODNESS
...repping a very wealthy lifestyle...he's got another rapping brother named doughboy...clocking in at around 21 years of age...came out with a largely unnoticed mixtape last year...what you got guy?
Allright shouts out to kobe...how you y'all feeling that one...did that shit burn...did that shit burn so hot you had to take off your sweater...yeahyeah...let's keep this moving...
OVER IN THE OTHER CORNER...we got the lean mean cuisine himself...snoop d-o-double g's one and only...SPANKY DANKY...
you know this kid has been smoking weed since he was a baby...fuck since he was in the womb...fuck when he was an itty bitty semen...he quit a promising football career so he could rap...good luck with that bro...he just put out an album with his dad and brother dirty d called "royal fam"...kid got game?...gave up the pigskin for the mic...right choice?
FUCKING HEAT ROCKS BRO!...yeah not really...spanky's repping that hippie shit...but doesn't "black hippy" have that covered?...
AND THE WINNER OF ROUND 1 IS....
based on the fact that he gave a shout out to kobe and that spanky danky fucking sucks...
OMG...OH MY GOODNESS!!!
CONGRATULATIONS SON OF ICE CUBE...YOU MOVE ON!
Ahhh...the golden child...not eddie murphy homie...romeo vs. jaden smith...hey man, you know i love it when you call me big papa round 2...the competition that might just well end all competitions...like who's the best of the rappers rapping offspring?...seriously, i want to know...and in this round we have the golden children...they were born into gold...they were born gold...no really...they have gold for blood...gold skin...gold souls man...okay, okay got it...but who's the better rapper...but who gives a shit really...romeo and jaden smith ain't gonna bring shit...now, now...being tight ain't gonna help your bowel movements any...and really i'm kind of interested in this matchup...
GOLDEN CHILD #1...ROMEO...
son of master p...make em say unnggghhh...got a soft spot in the back of my throat when i say that...master p...no limit soldiers...mia x, mister serv on, c murder, silk the shocker, mystikal etc...fucken rights that was a tight lineup...bought every cd that came out...ghetto fucking dope...see at that time...people said that rappers from the south weren't shit...would never amount to shit...look who's laughing now...the south rules the roost now...and back then master p and his team from new orleans hopped into their tanks and took over rap...unnnngggghhh...but of course all good things come to an end and the no limit empire collapsed...but out of the rubble...the phoenix in the form of ROMEO!!!...let's see what the good people have to say about romeo...
fuuuuck...dude's got shit popping...no doubt about that...lots of things cooking in the kitchen...which might be a good thing in the long run...but the question we need answered is...but can he rap?...
...fuuuuuck...i like the beat but...does he usually whisper when he raps?...lord love me...maybe the guy should stick to his college boyys clothing line...jaden this is yours to win kid...
GOLDEN CHILD #2...JADEN SMITH...
...son of will smith...will smith made a bomb ass album with jazzy jeff back in the day...straight up...then he went and made a pretty funny sitcom too...then he went and became a super duper film star...married a hot ass woman and boom...we got jaden smith...
...15 years young...spitting bars...well, not much in the old discography...one mixtape...some singles...mostly been focusing on acting...big role in the karate kid...what else, men in black 2...some tv...some shit with justin bieber...fuck me...okay let's see what we got boy...
...how many views?...wow...over 9 million for this song!?...fuck me...oh boy...and the winner is...you know going in...i really thought romeo would have no problem with jaden...but i really dislike both of these songs...but i think i really fucking dislike the jaden smith song more...
Congratulations...ROMEO! for sucking but sucking just a little less than jaden...YOU MOVE ON!!!
unnnnnngggggghhhhh....okay that does it for me...i'm going to smash my head on the fucking punk rock for awhile...make me forget all about this round!
NOW PETER PIPER PICKED PEPPERS
BUT RUN ROCKED RHYMES
...that's just embarrassing really...kid flows like his dad, kid basically steals his name...i mean, ol dirty even dissed his own kid...I brought him my notebook and he said, “Nigga, you can’t rap, didn’t even open the book.”
...his own father shut him down!?...however, i do like his shit talking about 2chainz in this interview though...
Least favorite?
I dunno. I see it as people feeding their families. But 2 Chainz brand, it ain’t good for me. People are out there buying chains before they pay their bills and getting killed over nothing. 2 Chainz can kiss my nuts. Plus, I wanted to make a song with this guy, and he sat there and ignored me.
To your face?
I had his manager’s number. I guess 2 Chainz was in the back and said, I don’t really wanna fuck with him. Hopefully he said that, I’m gonna fuck with him later and probably diss him on his own song. I’m trying to build with the guy, I don’t have to be talking to you, G. All you doing is about slavery chains anyway. I don’t have to walk with you, guy. I’m about the Jackie Robinson era, I don’t know what he’s doing. I don’t think he’s good for our people. He’s making all this money, but what are they listening to? And it’s not just the content. His name is 2 Chainz. Nigga, we don’t wear chains no more, motherfucker. This whole time you wanna escape from the chains, and now you got two chains wrapped around you. Double the trouble, motherfucker! I can picture the label with two chains holding him by his neck, holding him like a dog and shit. “I’ll do whatever you want! I’ll make another 2 Chainz song!”
I had his manager’s number. I guess 2 Chainz was in the back and said, I don’t really wanna fuck with him. Hopefully he said that, I’m gonna fuck with him later and probably diss him on his own song. I’m trying to build with the guy, I don’t have to be talking to you, G. All you doing is about slavery chains anyway. I don’t have to walk with you, guy. I’m about the Jackie Robinson era, I don’t know what he’s doing. I don’t think he’s good for our people. He’s making all this money, but what are they listening to? And it’s not just the content. His name is 2 Chainz. Nigga, we don’t wear chains no more, motherfucker. This whole time you wanna escape from the chains, and now you got two chains wrapped around you. Double the trouble, motherfucker! I can picture the label with two chains holding him by his neck, holding him like a dog and shit. “I’ll do whatever you want! I’ll make another 2 Chainz song!”
...spent along time on young dirty...maybe because i'm so fucking disgusted at reverend run's son diggy simmons...god does this kid make me want to slit my wrists...
...fuck he just butchers this classic beat for me...his papa is "run" from the immortal rap group run dmc...run was a great rapper...could really rock that beat for real...run dmc...now that's drama's heart and soul right there!...but his kid writes wack ass love raps...but it looks like he's doing well off that...eating off that...if youtube views has any meaning...fuck this kid bothers me though...makes me angry really...makes me turn into the hulk...which means...
CONGRATULATIONS YOUNG DIRTY BASTARD!...YOU MOVE ON BECAUSE YOU ARE A WEIRDO!
i'm just gonna excuse myself and barf out my brain...until next time...god help us all!
LET'S GET INTO SOME OF THAT TAI CHI BABY...LET'S GET THAT ENERGY MOVING LIKE SOME OF THAT QI GONG BABY...LET'S GET SOME YOGA GOING...SOME MEDITATION GOING...LIKE MY MAN FROM BAD BRAINS...LET'S GET A POSITIVE MENTAL ATTITUDE GOING...tired of bringing negativity to these rappers rapping offspring...i'm coming in like the air after a thunderstorm...like the first smell of summer...breathe out...let it all out...i feel like i'm going to find some okay songs from these kids here today...BABY PUN AKA CHRIS RIVERS...son of big pun...fuck the small font...SON OF BIG PUN...that's more like it...dude was a twin tower in his own right...man was like 3 of me in one...no wonder his heart exploded...his album "capital punishment" was like a jack hammer to your fucking soul...man that guy could rappity rap...and he was kind of funny too!
...why are these kids taking on their father's names?...fucking lame man...young dirty bastard...lil e...baby pun...oh just read an interview and he's officially changed his rapping name to chris rivers...at least he saw the light...okay enough with the talk, what you got!?...
fuck man...at least he brings it...brings it hard...not seeing too much style in that hardness...but at least he's not fucking around like these other jerk offs...romeo, jaden, diggy, spanky...yeah...okay...next up we got...
THE DUO OF TRIPS N SLIM...BETTER KNOWN BY THEIR GROUP NAME SQUARE OFF...sons of DOUG E. FRESH...
...the human beat box...
and along with a man named mc ricky d...you know who that is right?...came up with the cult classics...the show and la di da di...did you know?...doug e is a member of the church of scientology...interesting...but of course their papa's are more interesting but back to the kiddies...here we go...tripsnslim square off...
fuck you know what...i like this song and this video...even has one of them rocking a toronto raptors jersey!...got some ghetto times action...i like the vibe and the raps...see man...a little positivity goes along way...if chris rivers was in another face off he would've probably moved on...but not in this one...
CONGRATULATIONS TRIPS N SLIM...SONS OF DOUG E FRESH...YOU MOVE ON!!!
WAITING FOR MY MOM OUTSIDE THE LIQUOR STORE I SAW A WOMAN ON A BREAK FROM HER SHIFT AT LEE'S FAMOUS CHICKEN...SHE WAS STANDING OUTSIDE TALKING TO A FRIEND...SHE WAS SMOKING AND SPITTING...BREAK OVER...BUTTED OUT...ONE LAST LOOGIE HORK FOR GOOD LUCK AND THEN WENT BACK IN TO SERVE A CUSTOMER...I'LL TELL YOU THIS MUCH, IT FUCKING TURNED ME RIGHT OFF EATING CHICKEN FOR A BIT...I WONDER IF PEOPLE FIND WOMEN THAT SPIT SEXY...I TRIED TO GET TURNED ON BY IT BUT I COULDN'T...fuck you talking bout brown...just avoiding the issue at hand my man...which is I LOVE IT WHEN YOU CALL ME BIG PAPA ROUND 5...RAPPERS RAPPING OFFSPRING...WHO'S GOT THE ILLEST DNA...HOW ABOUT ONE OF THESE...
SUN GOD VS CORY GUNZ...and now...INTRODUCING THE GHOST FACE KILLAHHHHHHHHHHH...no i'm not...introducing his son...SUN GOD...doesn't have the same ring does it?...sun god son of ghostface killah...did you know ghostface was in the wutang clan...did you know he's had 10 solo albums and all of them are good and the best of them is ghostdini: wizard of poetry in emerald city...but seriously the guy was murdered and was resurrected to become one of the greatest slang poets of our time...fucking made a classic album with rae...tony starks baby...tony starks' baby was sun god...know fuck all about sun god so let's just base it all on his raps...
...not bad, not bad at all...at least he doesn't sound like his papa or calls himself baby ghostface or some shit like that...next up we got some cory gunz...son of peter gunz...who along with lord tariq were at one point the kings of new york rap...just shitting...i vaguely remember their hit song deja vu....but not much else...so i asked drama if he had any memories: Man I know shit all about Peter Gunz other than he looks like somebody I don't want to hang out with. Not sure why he gives me that vibe but he does....so peter gunz had a son that goes by the name of cory gunz...kids signed to ymcmb records...his real name is peter cory pankey jr...flows off the tongue...should've gone with that name as his handle...or shortened it to PCP...wow you know what i just figured out...that he was on that 6foot, 7foot song with lil wayne on the carter 4 and that he was actually going hard on that...i was shocked cause i came across more of this kind of thing from him...
...but who am i to judge...let's see what the fine people on the message boards are saying about this song...
FUCK I'VE GOT SO MUCH WHITE POWDER ON THE FLOOR OF MY PLACE RIGHT NOW IT LOOKS LIKE I WENT ON A WEEK LONG COKE BINGE...who's that peaking in my window...pow...nobody now...that white powder being ground up sea shells to combat the war on fleas currently going on at the hermitage of william brown...ROUND 6 OF I LOVE IT WHEN YOU CALL ME BIG PAPA...RAPPERS RAPPING CONTEST...WHO'S GOT THE BEST DNA IN THE BUSINESS....DROOP E VS LIL EAZY E...i'm itching...literally...to get this competition over with...so let's get right to it...DROOP E is the son of E-40...representing the bay area...now this guy can rap like a formula 1 driver...plus he's invented so many new words they'll be coming out with the e-40 dictionary if they haven't already...know nothing about his son droop e and that's okay with me...and with that inspiring droop e intro...let's hear a tune...
...that bored me so much i started staring out at the birds feeding on my porch...which made me think of dinosaurs...which made me think of death...which made me think of time...which made me think of space...which made me think of space moving backwards or forwards...or maybe circular...well at least he made me think about something other than his raps...moving right along on this escalator into the dungeons of doom...we got LIL EAZY E...son of EAZY E...by now you know i have a fucking problem with these kids and their rapping names...c'mon guy...lil eazy e???!!!...seriously?...that's all you could come up with...you fucking smoke the chronic and your imagination stopped at lil eazy e?...fucking kidding me...his papa eazy e...straight outta compton...was a hustler...dude used to sell rap tapes at flea markets and out of the trunk of his car...he was instrumental in starting NWA...and having some of the greatest pool parties put to tape...the man might not have wrote alot of his raps but he had charisma out the yin yang...plus he also founded ruthless records and hooked up BONE THUGS N HARMONY...unfortunately too many pool parties without inflatables cost him his life from the aids virus...rest in peace eazy...let's hope your boy can make you proud...
not bad...got an inner waka flocka flame going on there which i'm not gonna hate on in the least...at least this shit bangs...good energy...but it doesn't take too much to win me over at this point...which means...
CONGRATULATIONS LIL EAZY E son of
eazy e...YOU WIN...YOU MOVE ON!!!!
i'm crying tears of joy at the moment...quarter finals up next!!!!
FEELING FUCKING GOOD ABOUT THINGS THIS ROUND!...gonna celebrate by having some green tea and do some tai chi!...21 days without booze baby!
YEAH MAN, I LIKE ME SOME OF THAT BAD ASS...not so much male super hero ass...maybe some serena williams ass?...that's some to be continued ass right there bro...i asked drama the other night who i could hire to take out a couple of rappers for me..."Deathstroke: the Terminator," he replied without a hesitation dribble, like he'd thought about this going to sleep many times before. A good choice...guy has the strength of 10 men, and the ability to use 90% of his brain power...so i went about trying to contact deathstroke real name slade wilson...i tried the obvious route with the phone book...there was a slade wilson and much to my surprise he picked up and told me he was also deathstroke the terminator and he could handle my situation "no problemo"...i thought he was going to be a fucking nutbar but he turned out to be a her...that was born a he...but got some surgery done and is now a her...no wait, that's my neighbour downstairs!!!...hahahahhahahahhahhaahhahaha.....cough, cough...hack, hack...right...okay...nothing against all that...the old seinfeld routine......yeah...anyway, i told deathstroke i needed two rappers taken out by any means...NO...by all means necessary...i needed these sons of rappers disappeared like poof, so i didn't have to listen to their shit and get things moving towards the semifinals of my i love it when you call me big papa competition...rappers rapping offspring...who's got the best dna!?...yeah, yeah...break out the cheerleaders willy bee...sooooo...
...i met deathstroke outside the liquor store where i was informed that "for a carton of smokes and a pack of condoms" he'd do the job "no problemo"...he was in his little deathstroke outfit...cute, but i was slightly dubious at the large amount of blue sequin in the shit, but fuck...i'm the last one to judge a dog and pony show...i gave him two pictures of the rappers i needed gonzo alonzo...
young dirty bastard son of old dirty bastard
WHY HE'S GOTTA GO?...for rapping exactly like his dad and pretty much taking the exact same fucking name too!...shit just bothers me all across the board with this guy...
NEXT...
ROMEO MILLER son of master p
WHY HE'S GOTTA GO?...seriously son, can you take a photo with a fucking shirt on please...i know you like how your body is reacting with the weight training but fuck man...and what are you doing in this photo with no shirt on and eating some fucking cake...where are you and who are you hanging out with that this needs to happen?!...c'mon guy...enoughs enough...and stop that whispering rap shit...you're not menacing...you're not scaring anybody but my fucking cat...who's acting really sensitive cause of this flea situation...and so he's a little jumpy at the moment...but if he was feeling normal i bet even he wouldn't be a scaredy cat with your whisper raps!
Update #1: ...Deathstroke texted me...said he hit a couple of snags and was at the bar running up a tab but was feeling confident...
Update #2: ...said the case was on hold, came with a photo of him about to do a line of blow...
Update #3: ...said he had to stop and do some research at at a dinosaur museum...
Shit man i might have to hang out with this dude more after this is all said and done...get me some of that blue sequin myself!...finally i got the news i wanted to here...
Update #4: ...ydb and romeo would not be a problem anymore...all you need to do is just take them out of the competition yourself and that would be problem solved...no problemo!
Deathstroke droppin some wisdom on an old head...man you know...sometimes you gotta pay to hear the obvious...ain't that the truth...no problemo...semi finals coming next week unless i go on a drinking binge and wind up in oakland trying to fuck a member of the white girl mob!
TRIPS N SLIM
vs
OMG
SUN GOD
vs
LIL EAZY E
MY PENIS
vs
VENUS!
(i really wanted to put serena in there instead of venus,
but serena doesn't rhyme with penis:)
but serena doesn't rhyme with penis:)
TO BE CONTINUED!
COMING SOON!
COMING LIVE FROM THE PSYCHIATRIC WARD...I LOVE IT WHEN YOU CALL ME BIG PAPA...RAPPERS RAPPING OFFSPRING...THE GRAND FINALE COMES TO AN END!...thank the dear, dear lord...ONCE I GET OUT OF THIS STRAIGHT JACKET THAT IS...
Fashion designer[edit]
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